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  • Tamara

The 3 D's: Why You Aren't Living Your Dream

Do you feel like you have so much to offer and you are just stuck in the same old routine, not actualizing your dreams? I think we've all been there at one point in our lives. There are reasons WHY you are stuck. There are 3 factors in your life that can prevent you from pursuing what you love and fulfilling your dreams. Once you are aware of them, you will be able to catch yourself and shift your life to become the person you want to be.

I've known my entire life I wanted to be a vet. I love animals and couldn't imagine my life any other way. I went through high school, then university without thinking much about it, except for the academic requirements needed to apply to get in. During this time, I was extremely hard on myself. I have body dysmorphia so I was very negative in my thoughts of myself and my image. I was self deprecating and always put myself down. I never had one nice thing to say about myself, my abilities, or my achievements. However, when I applied to vet school, I assumed I would get in on my first try. I had never failed at anything in my life and when I received my rejection letter I was devastated. Not getting accepted my first time applying was one of the hardest challenges I had to face in my life. I couldn't understand what I did wrong. This "failure" forced me to reconsider my actions and what I had done wrong. I had to face the reality that I doubted myself in general, I didn't really do anything proactive to set me apart from other applicants, and I wasn't very positive in general. I hit a low point in my life. I didn't know who I was if I wasn't working towards becoming a vet. I had a decision to make...was I going to give up and take my life on a different path, or was I going to fight for what I wanted out of my life? This realization forced me to put my ultimate goal in the forefront of my mind. I was going to be a vet! No matter what!

I erased the doubt, I worked hard volunteering, and I completed an externship across the country to try to improve myself so I would be a better candidate the next time I applied. I made the decision to apply as many times as it took to get in. I wasn't going to let my fear of failure win. I started to tell myself that I was a vet and any time I started doubting or being negative, I would remind myself that I could do it. These small shifts in mindset and in actions put me on the path to succeed! I got into vet school and I am now a practicing veterinarian! I love what I do and know that my purpose in life is to help animals.

In hindsight, I know that I was not ready for the rigors of vet school and the strain it has on you. I am so grateful for this rejection because it made me work harder and appreciate my success more! Now I know that no failure is permanent. You just have to find another way. It is a lesson and you will be stronger when you come out the other end.

If I had let my self doubt, negative energy, and delay in action take control, I would not be where I am today. I unknowingly broke through the 3 D's to achieve my dreams! So I'm here today to give you some insight on what the 3 D's are and how you can break through these blocks to allow you to live the life you've always wanted.

1) Doubt

When we doubt ourselves or possible choices we can make in our lives, we are essentially stopping our thought process before it has a chance to put that thought into action. You need to face your doubt. Ask yourself how can I fix my doubt? Why am I doubtful? You need to push past your fears (which are usually the reason you are doubting in the first place) and face them head on. What is the worst that can happen? You might not get the job, or you might fail, or you might get your heart broken. But what happens if you don't try? This doubt could prevent you from achieving everything you've ever wanted out of life! You need to tell yourself that you are WORTH it and DESERVE to have everything your heart desires. By making the decision to push past your fears/doubts, you are making the first, but hardest step towards freeing yourself from the bonds and restrictions you put on yourself and on your life. To do this, you need to have FAITH. Faith in your ability to succeed and faith in your self worth. Faith doesn't mean you won't have doubt or it will go away. It will still be there, but you need to push through and trust in your success.

2) Delay

Have you ever made a huge to-do list and told yourself you were going to be super productive and then sat down and watched your favorite TV show? I sure have. People delay because of so many reasons: they are lazy, don't have motivation, or possibly because they are afraid of not succeeding so why try in the first place. You can dream all you want, but if you delay the start, it will never happen. You need to take ACTION in order to fight through your natural unwillingness to start something (especially if it isn't a fun task). Even if you don't exactly know your destination, you can still take the actions necessary to start and the end goal will reveal itself as you go. It's better to start and take action and adjust later, than it is to stay the same and do nothing but dream about what you want your life to look like. So take the ACTIONS necessary today to put you on the path to becoming the person you want to be.

3) Divisions

Division refers to feeling divided or disconnected from other people. "You couldn't possibly understand" or "you don't know what I'm going through." These thoughts are so common, but they only further isolate and prevent you from getting what you want out of life. Feeling divided from others causes people to become hateful, judgmental, spiteful, and jealous. These feelings are just projections of feeling division/isolation from others. This belief that people won't understand you, protects you from getting hurt or connecting with others, but it also prevents you from asking for help. If you believe no one will understand you, you will isolate yourself and make it more difficult to live the life of abundance you've always wanted. So if you are feeling disconnected from people, you also feel disconnected from yourself, your life, and the universe. This, in turn, will prevent you from actualizing your deepest desires because negative energy attracts negative energy. This sense of separation prevents us from getting ahead. To combat this, you need to act, you need love others, and you need to start being kind. The more positive you are in general, the more connected you feel to others.

I will be the first to admit that I am a natural pessimist. I have always felt divided from others and felt like people would never understand what was going on in my head and in my life. I isolated myself from others and had a negative outlook on life, which attracted more negative energy/situations. I started to practice Positive Affirmations every morning (even if I didn't believe them fully) to try to shift my mindset so I could start attracting the positive vibes/energy I was so desperately looking for. I didn't really believe in it, but I was desperate to try anything. And within a month, I wasn't constantly thinking poorly of myself. I was having more positive interactions with others and attracting more positive people and energy my way. If you start thinking like you are part of a greater good and you are on this planet for a reason then you will start to attract the things you want in life. You need to believe you are one with the universe (I know that sounds cheesy, but it's true) in order to feel connected and to get rid of the negative feelings/beliefs you have. Like attracts like so if you are kind, positive, and practice self love, you will attract people and experiences that are similar. YOU are the change you need to make! Your outside world is a direct reflection of your inner world so you need to adjust your thinking to match what you desire in life!

The moment you are aware of the three D's is the moment you can start changing your life for the better. You can have FAITH in yourself and your ability to succeed. You can take ACTION towards your ultimate goals. You can start to LOVE yourself and others to attract the kind of people and life you want. It is ultimately up to YOU to make the necessary shifts in your mind and in your life to succeed and live the life you've always wanted.

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